Chapter 6: Don't try this at home

Chapter 6: Don't try this at home

And we rejoin our heroes; two of whom are fighting over a mixer, while it splatters goop all over the room, one of whom is being held by two very large security guards, and one other who is trying to resist the urge to lash out violently, one was searching for matches.

This show had to be more exciting than those boring shows like Emeril at least.
The security guard dropped Ed back on the ground and towered over the alchemist. “Now listen here little alchemist,” the guard said as Ed got back to his feet. When Ed stood back up, the guard decided to use Ed's head as an armrest.

“Little... LITTLE! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME ‘SO SHORT HE'S LIKE A SHRIMP’, AND ‘SO SMALL HE WOULDN'T GET CAUGHT IN THOSE FISHING NETS’!?”

With this slight statement of annoyance, Ed punched the guard sending him flying back while slightly seething.

“Now back to the cake!” Tamaki said running back in front of the camera while the guard had a quite visible lump on his head. “Please forgive these peasants for causing such a disruption, but now we're back to the important part of the show.” He placed the mixing bowl on a table while Spirit was running after Tamaki to take over this important part of cooking. “We've now mixed all the ingredients together,” the king proudly declared, despite the fact that he was slightly worried that chocolate milk, hamburger meat, and the few pieces of silverware that had ended up in there during the fight with Spirit might mess it up, he wasn't going to let this ruin his first cooking show. “Now, we put it in the oven!”

“You mean the one that idiot blew up earlier?” Ed asked.

“I mean put it over the fire!” They then looked over to the hole in the ground where Fai had unsuccessfully tried creating a fire earlier. “Um...I mean...”Tamaki looked around for something he could do to get this show back on track. “It's time to make the icing for the cake!” he shouted. “Hopefully that will buy us enough time,” he mumbled to himself.

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Ed said with his arms crossed.

“Ed, would you please read the ingredients for the icing!” Tamaki announced.

“How am I supposed to know?”

“I'll do it,” Zero said walking back to the middle of the stage, “Just so I can get out of here without anyone getting killed.”

Grabbing one of the yet to be destroyed bowls, he started putting the ingredients in it. “2 cups sugar, 1 tablespoon of butter, half a teaspoon of vanilla, and 4 tablespoons of milk.”

“Wait, how are you supposed to make something good if you use so much milk?” Ed asked.

“Because that's what this thing says. Now just shut up, and let me mix this.”

“You can't be all mopey and sad when you do it!” Tamaki shouted. “Give a smile to the audience, woo the ladies, you're not just making a cake, you're filling their hearts with joy!”

“Man, this guy really is nuts,” Ed said, glad he wasn't stuck doing the cooking at least.

“You wanted me to make a cake, I'm doing that,” Zero said.

“But you can't just do it like that. It had to be filled with love for my Maka!” Spirit said rushing back to the center of the room.

With all the commotion going around, Ed decided he should try escaping again. He went to the back of the stage, ducking behind some cabinets, hoping he was out of sight. “It's a good thing I can fit behind this.” He then paused for a second when he realized what he just implied. “Dang it, I just called myself short again!” he shouted, causing every eye in the room to turn to him. Figuring he had no better plan, he took off in a sprint, hoping to get out of there in time. However, he was running so fast he couldn't see where he was going, so crashed into Fai who was carrying back a number of matches. Lit matches that is.

The matches quickly caught Ed's shirt on fire, which he quickly tried to pat out, though the embers on his shirt continued to spread.

Tamaki grabbed the nearest fire extinguisher that hadn't become part of the cake batter and ran at Ed spraying it wildly, coating everything within a 40-foot radius of Ed.

“Thanks,” Ed said halfheartedly, wiping the foam off himself.

“Oh, I'm so glad you're okay,” Tamaki said as he picked up Ed, giving him a hug while spinning around.

When Tamaki set him back down, the alchemist pushed Tamaki away, a bit dizzy. Before he could say anything else though, the smoke had risen to the ceiling, causing the smoke detectors to go off, which activated the fire sprinklers, which rained all over the room, coating the cast of the show, and the audience the same.

“I think it's time we take a commercial break,” a very wet and defeated Tamaki said.